Infuriating Aznness...

In Amy Chua's article, Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior, she claims that:

Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them. If their child doesn't get them, the Chinese parent assumes it's because the child didn't work hard enough. That's why the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child. The Chinese parent believes that their child will be strong enough to take the shaming and to improve from it. (And when Chinese kids do excel, there is plenty of ego-inflating parental praise lavished in the privacy of the home.)

 Chua makes the relationship between Chinese parents and their children seem very tense and strict.  She doesn't talk about any happy aspects of their relationship as a family, as if them being together as a family is actually enjoyable and fun, but rather as if it is completely strict and there is no space for mistakes or any time to have fun and enjoy life.  She portrays a Chinese life as very strict and enforcing, and as if Chinese children are not allowed to enjoy life or gain friends.  Chua is very strict on her two daughters, and does not allow them to do many things that many "Western" families would have their children do, like having a sleepover, being in a school play, or watching TV. 

Chinese parents may demand perfect grades because they believe that their children can get them, but Western parents probably still believe the same thing, but they just don't necessarily push their children as hard as Chinese parents may.  Getting good grades in high school often demands hard work and dedication to studying.  Whenever I get mediocre grades(like a B), I do get criticized and my mom used to punish me, but not severely.  She doesn't criticize or shame me for my grades as much anymore, since she trusts me to do my best, and knows that it's my life, and my future I'm shaping right now.  She doesn't push me, but if I want the help, she's willing.


As a Chinese child, I feel that I do owe my parents a lot for everything that they've done to get me where I am now, and for supporting me through my entire life.  I disagree with Chua's opinion that their children owe them everything, but children do owe their parents a lot.  I think that my mom's expectations for me is more just that I try my best, and don't make my mom's time and effort spent on me is a waste of  time.  Parent's don't owe their children anything in my opinion, because they've already done so much to raise their children and support them throughout their childhood.