Mother-Daughter Relationships (Amy Chua & Amy Tan)

In Amy Chua's "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior," excerpted from "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother," she compares and contrasts the different way Chinese parents raise and restrict their children from the way Western parents do.  

 I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years.(Chua).

To make sure that her daughter learned a piece for a piano recital, Chua threatened her daughter with no food, presents, or parties.  Her daughter wanted to give up on the piano piece and stomped off, but Chua still ordered and forced her to get back to the piano and practice the piece until it was perfect by the next day.  Her parenting technique was to threaten and order her daughter to do what she wanted her to do, or else there would be a consequence that the daughter would not want.  She uses words to make her daughter do things, rather than physical force.

In Amy Tan's The Joy Luck Club, in the second section, "The Twenty-Six Malignant Gates," she explores the topic of mother-daughter relationships, and the way they raise their daughters and things they often do to influence them.  In "Rules of the Game," written from Waverly Jong's perspective, her mother tells her family, 

"We not concerning this girl.  This girl not have concerning for us."

 after Waverly came home at night after running away from her mother because she was angry at her mother for always using her to show off.  Her mother understood it differently, and thought that she was embarrassed to be her mother.  When she got home, her family was sitting at the dinner table, with the remains of a fish on the table, and the mother spoke these words to make Waverly feel guilt through her words, and she chose her words to strike Waverly's emotions, to ensure that something similar wouldn't be likely to happen again.  Because Waverly's mother felt like Waverly didn't care for her family, she told her family to ignore her, since Waverly was so careless towards them, and did not care about them as she should.

Connections Between Revolution in Animal Farm and in Egypt Etc.

In Animal Farm, the animals spoke with each other beforehand and planned a rebellion before they actually acted.  They didn't have a set time for the rebellion, but they rebelled when they felt like it was the right time, when their oppressors went to far and crossed the line, angering them, so they all worked together to rebel, and to rid the farm of their human oppressors.  In the events in Egypt, Tunisia, Honduras, etc., they also communicated with one another beforehand, spreading words of contempt and unease about Mubarak being president, and oppressing them.  They used other forms of communication though, like Facebook, YouTube and Twitter, so the Egyptian government shut down their internet and forms of communication with one another, including mobile phone access. (Shutdown of Internet Access) The humans of Manor Farm did not know they were planning a rebellion, so they were unable to do anything to prevent it.  The Egyptian government went to extremes to prevent the spread of word about rebellion against Mubarak throughout Egypt, but the rebellion still went on nonetheless, because of the communication they had prior with the internet communication, and the idea spread throughout Egypt that Mubarak should not be president.  Soon, many people were convinced, and a rebellion began.  When the people of Egypt were finally successful with their goal and Mubarak quited and surrendered power to the military, they chanted "Egypt is free!" as many people danced, wept and prayed in joyful pandemonium.  In the Animal Farm, after the humans left the farm, the animals sang "Beasts of England" and celebrated too, but in a different way, with their singing.

Communication

I can no longer remember the days when I used to have to send mail or make a phone call from the house phone to talk to a friend or relative that didn’t live very close to me, or just meet with them face to face. 

When somebody asks or tells me to contact somebody, I immediately either think of facebook, texting, or emailing (although, emailing, not so much). 

What has happened to our communication?  I talk to people so much more on facebook or through texting than I do in person.  With my closest friends, I talk to them in person for nearly the entire day, but the people I’m not as close to, I text them to get to know them better, but we don’t really talk at school.  We acknowledge each other when we see each other at school, and sometimes have short conversations, but they are never deep discussions that make the friendship bond stronger.  They are just conversations that keep the acquaintance there.  Only with one person have I actually got to know them better by both texting and talking to each other at school.  Oddly enough though, with some of those people, I tell them my “secrets” or complaints, online or through aim or text, rather than in person.

There are a few people I know solely from meeting them off the internet only, and I have never met them, nor do I ever intend to, but I did meet one person on my way to school, and we still talk.  Not on the phone, but on facebook and through texts. 

Is the new way of communication between people good or bad though?

In some ways, it’s good, because it keeps people connected faster than old school snail mail, and allows people to still get a chance to “talk” and get to know people across the world without the hassle of waiting for a few days to weeks to get an answer to a question in a letter.

In other ways, its outcome isn’t as positive though, because teenagers do not talk to each other in person and build actual friendships as much as they talk to others through technology and an electronic screen.  When we teenagers grow up, we cannot base our relationships solely through electronics, but we need actual people there to talk to. 

I think that technology should still be used, but maybe just not as often.  We need to start to go out, get some fresh air, and hang out!

What do you think about electronics and technology?  Good or bad?  Helpful or what?  Share your ideas with me!!! :D

I miss you D;

Gomez made a post about how much she misses Kylie.  I was thinking about commenting, but I don't think a comment is enough to talk about how I feel too.

Gomez's blog about Kylie is here.

"I don't know what happened, but we used to be such amazing friends. You were that one guy I could talk to about anything. You, Amber, and me were so close."

You know, blogging about this makes me feel weird, because Kyle's already so far away from us, but I'm going to do it anyways.  Also, even though I'm mostly talking to Kyle, part of this is to Gomez too.

Kyle, what happened to you?  What happened to our days spent at the water stop, those hours we wasted away talking about everything?  You act like it never happened, but it has, and maybe it's because Gomez and I are girls (not trying to be sexist or anything) or maybe, you never intended to stay with us in the first place.  We entrusted our friendship to you, and expected you to return it, but now, all those happy moments have faded away from my memory, and all I can remember is the betrayal, the gossip, the bumps in our friendship, and the empty space there is now when we bike.

Let me start from the beginning. I've known you since kindergarten.  We had the same teacher, Ms. Yoon and Ms. Goldspring.  We never talked much, but we still knew each other.  As the years progressed, we became middle schoolers.  I still remember those lunches.  Sixth and seventh grade, my friends and I would sit on the ampitheater stage for lunch, and we would constantly be bombarded by you and Calvin's pineapples and grapes.  Same with Eighth grade, except you sat on the stage then and us on the steps.  We still were attacked.  After a while though, you began to sit on the steps next to us.  My friends disliked you, and you knew that.  In PE, I would tease you and I still remember always hitting you with the hockey stick.  We got along okay in Mr. Hill's class too.  I would tsk at you for eating your lunch in his class, and you never bothered to hide it.  We never had close bonding moments or anything though.  We were mutual "friends" if you can call that friendship.

When I found out that you were going to go to ASTI, I complained so much.  I kept on claiming that I would kill myself if we ended up going to the same college, because I was so annoyed with you. (I was joking. I wouldnt. Really.)

Since we lived so close to each other, we decided to start biking together.  You, Gomez and I.  We originated with the water stop after getting Starbucks on the first week of school.  After that, we started to stop there when we biked, to drink water, Starbucks. or in my case, chrysanthemum tea.  Soon, we began to sit down, and talk.  Those conversations soon got more personal, and we would talk about our secrets, crushes, and problems.

Halfway through the year, we got into all those trust issues, and you would say things that I told to you privately, to Gomez, and vice versa.  Soon, you started telling her that I was saying things behind her back, and someone else told her that I was telling others about her secrets, and she even thought that I was making up things to try to keep her and her special someone apart, even though I wasn't.  I nearly lost a good friend three times that year.  If I did, I don't know how I would've gotten through high school, seeing a person who I would've easily said was my sister in a second, but no longer could really talk to as best friends.

All those moments we've shared, our days of friendship, deep conversations, venting, and ranting, have all gone down the drain.  You're a different person, so much more different than the ones you changed into last year.  You left us for others a few times, but you still came back to the friendship of the Ambers.  I don't think that's ever going to happen again.

In some sense, I'm mad.  But still, I'm sad.  For me though, I cannot bring myself to tears over this loss friend.  It's not worth it for me.  I'd just be crying for something that has been lost, never to come back again, and crying won't make it any better or fix it in any way.  It'll only leave a deeper impression and gaping hole where you're friendship used to be.

Now, as I go through everyday, I still see you around, but no longer is that sadness still there.  Its been replaced by a wall of cloth.  Blocking away the pain, but still the pain can slip in and remind me of those days we once shared together.

I've got to go now, but Kylie, I miss you.

The Stupid Question

Have you ever heard of the quote, "The only stupid question is the one you don't ask"?

I used to believe that too.  Until I was insulted by my teacher for asking a question. 

The logic of the quote makes perfect sense.  If you don’t understand something, then ask someone else about it and you can learn by asking the question, even if it sounds ridiculous.  Asking questions to try to understand things you don’t understand is the equivalent of opening new doors to new explorations and opportunities.

I learned from the past that if I don’t speak up and ask questions for myself, no one else will.  I need to do things on my own, and there won’t always be somebody standing there with me guiding me through the next step of my life.  If I don’t act, things will stay the same.  I finally realized that a year or so ago, but I was always still too shy to speak out and talk to others that I didn’t know very well.  I finally started to speak up for myself and to try to make my voice and opinions heard, to make some kind of influence on things.  Ever since, I’ve learned more about things, and I have gotten to know more people and things about them.  I started to ask questions in class like I never had, because I was to shy to talk to teachers.  By asking more questions, I started to finally understand the things that I didn’t understand before, and was able to use that new knowledge for other things that were influenced by it. 

I have begun to speak up around school, and am pursuing new opportunities, like PTSA.  If I have a question about something in class, I ask the teacher about it, instead of asking a friend to ask the question for me. 

This Tuesday, (I won’t mention what class for the sake of the teacher, but those who have that class with me and talk to me probably heard me talking about it for a while) I didn’t understand the question that the teacher gave us to work on.  I asked a clarifying question, just to make sure that the question was correct and that he/she didn’t write the question incorrectly.  He/she responded by saying to me “I don’t even know why you asked that question.”

It was seriously insulting to hear a teacher say that to me.  I was honestly confused and unsure about how to answer the question he/she put up.  I wasn’t the only person who didn’t understand it either.  I asked the classmates around me if they understood, and the people around me did not.  After I got that response from the teacher, I wrote in my notebook, “I’m only asking for those who did not want to ask, and because I don’t get it.  It’s not a crime to ask.  I’m not the only one who had that question.  I’m just the only one who was willing to ask.”

I don’t think I’m asking questions in that class again. 

ASTI Size Increase?

Today, we had a PTSA meeting at school, and we came to the topic of the possible size increase for ASTI.  Mr. Fong talked about how AUSD was planning to increase ASTI's size to 400 students, but the grades levels would be from seventh grade to twelfth grade.  The students would not be at the portable campus only, but supposedly, we would have the seventh and eight graders at a different campus, and the ninth through twelfth graders at the ASTI and COA campus.  Even though it is somewhat a good and a bad thing to be able to increase the size of ASTI, I personally would like it better if we could keep the ASTI size the same as it is now.

As many of you know, there have been major budget cuts this year, and the Parcel Tax did not get passed, so a lot of the funding for schools has been drastically lowered, and we do not have as many funds to pay for textbooks and teachers.  Many of the schools have been planning to shut down soon and merge with another school, and grades for the school to be changed.  I heard that Encinal High School and Lincoln Middle School might shut down, or the grades in Alameda High or something would be changed so there are seventh and eight graders too.  Also, they have plans to shut down about half of the elementary schools in Alameda, I think.

Because many of the schools might get shut down, and most schools are losing privileges and teachers.  As a small school, it's a great thing if the AUSD still allows ASTI to be an early college high school without thousands of students, but I really like the small environment ASTI has opposed to the large size of other "normal" high schools.  If the school size is increased, odds are, we will be able to have a sports team and games.  We would use the college classrooms, and the seventh and eighth graders would be at a different campus, and the high schoolers would only be part time college students for all four years.  We would take a combination of both high school courses at the ASTI campus, and college classes at the COA campus. (This is what I heard from the conversation, but I don't have any official proof for it.)

Personally, I would like it if ASTI could keep its small size, instead of increasing the number of students, because then it would be able to maintain the small family-like atmosphere, and most of the students would know each other.  I really like that the teachers and students are all a very tightly knit community of families and friends, that we can all depend on.  I also like how because of ASTI's small size, it seems more exclusive, and it is easier for teachers to focus more attention for each student, instead of less attention for more students.

I'm curious what you think about the possible size increase for ASTI. Please respond by commenting and let me know what you think.